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So what is sexual violence/ abuse
Sexual violence is any unwanted sexual act or activity. There are many different kinds of sexual violence, including but not restricted to: rape, sexual assault, child sexual abuse, sexual harassment, rape within marriage / relationships, forced marriage, so-called honour-based violence, female genital mutilation, trafficking, sexual exploitation, and ritual abuse.
Sexual violence can be perpetrated by a complete stranger, or by someone known and even trusted, such as a friend, colleague, family member, partner or ex-partner. Sexual violence can happen to anyone. No-one ever deserves or asks for it to happen.
100% of the responsibility for any act of sexual violence lies with its perpetrator. There is no excuse for sexual violence; it can never be justified, it can never be explained away and there is no context in which it is valid, understandable or acceptable.
If you have been raped or experienced any other kind of sexual violence, no matter where you were, what you were doing, what you were wearing, what you were saying, if you were drunk or under the influence of drugs, it was not your fault and you did not deserve this.
Women are more likely than men to experience multiple incidents of abuse, different types of domestic abuse (intimate partner violence, sexual assault and stalking) and in particular sexual violence. Any woman can experience domestic abuse regardless of race, ethnic or religious group, sexuality, class, or disability, but some women who experience other forms of oppression and discrimination may face further barriers to disclosing abuse and finding help.
All our staff are fully trained and experienced in supporting women around issues of sexual violence, rape and/or sexual assault
You can also contact the Sexual Abuse Referal Centre in Cardiff directly yourself or via the Police; and we will also help you contact SARC and support you through the process
It might help for you to know that, by law, a person consents to sexual activity if she or he agrees by choice, and has the freedom and capacity to make that choice.
If you said 'yes' to something because you were scared for your life or your safety or for the life or safety of someone you care about, or if you were asleep or unconscious or incapacitated through alcohol or drugs, for example, then you didn't agree by choice and have the freedom and capacity to make that choice.
If you froze or your body 'flopped' or went limp through fear, if you didn't say the word 'no' or weren't able to speak at all through shock, if you didn't shout or fight or struggle, it doesn't mean you gave your consent for what happened to you.
Rape and sexual assault
Since the Sexual Offences Act 2003 came into force on 1st May 2004, rape has legally been defined in the UK as the penetration with a penis of the vagina, anus or mouth of another person without their consent.
The Act describes penetration of another person's vagina, mouth or anus with any part of the body other than the penis or any object without their consent, as 'sexual assault by penetration', which can carry the same sentences as rape.
The overall definition of sexual or indecent assault is an act of physical, psychological and emotional violation, in the form of a sexual act, inflicted upon someone without their consent. It can involve forcing or manipulating someone to witness or participate in any sexual acts.
Through our experience of supporting survivors at Rape Crisis, however, we know that for some survivors, for example for those who've experienced sexual violence that involved penetration by something other than a penis, these legal definitions can feel restrictive and as if their experience is not considered as serious. When we work with survivors, we are led by them, encourage them to name and frame their own experiences, and use the language that they find most meaningful and representative, rather than strict legal terminology
Rape within relationships
Everyone has the right to say 'no' to sex, to withdraw or withhold their consent for any sexual act, on any occasion and under any circumstances, regardless of whether they've given consent to sex with that person in the past and regardless of whether they're in a relationship with the other person. Sex without consent is rape.
There are many reasons why a woman or man might stay in an intimate relationship that is violent or abusive, including fear, shame and self-blame, concern for their children and hope that their partner's behaviour might change. Staying in a relationship that involves or has involved sexual violence does not mean someone is 'weak' or any less deserving of specialist support and justice than someone raped in any other kind of circumstance.
So Called Date Rape
The term ‘date rape’ is often used to describe rapes that occur when the survivor / victim and perpetrator know each other, for example as acquaintances, friends or lovers, and/or have been on a date or out socially together. 'Date rape' can be an unhelpful and misleading label and is not a legal term or specific offence.
The use of this term can have a negative impact on survivors of sexual violence and on the attitudes of wider society, both because it can imply that rape can be 'graded' in terms of 'seriousness' and because it is sometimes used to infer that rape by a known perpetrator is less traumatic than or ‘not as bad as’ rape by a stranger
As around 90% of those who are raped or sexually assaulted know their attacker prior to the incident, use of the term 'date rape' can be interpreted as minimising the experiences of a significant number of sexual violence survivors.
RISE encourages the media and others to avoid using the term ‘date rape’ when describing or reporting on sexual violence.
The term 'drug rape' or 'drug-assisted rape' is used to refer to rape or sexual assault that takes place after the perpetrator has administered a drug to his victim. The media in particular will often use these terms to refer to attacks that take place after a drug has been administered through a drink in a public social setting such as a bar or nightclub.
The drug Rohypnol is sometimes referred to as the 'date rape drug' but other drugs, including prescription medication and most often alcohol, can be used to incapacitate someone or to try and make them vulnerable to a sexual attack.
Drug-assisted rape is most commonly associated with perpetrators who are strangers to their victim(s), or recent acquaintances, but the forced misuse of tranquillisers and other prescribed drugs often takes place in violent relationships and/or is an aspect of the rape of women in their own homes.
Reactions to different drugs will vary from individual to individual and different drugs will have different typical effects.
Some drugs might make someone physically incapacitated / unable to move or speak, some might result in short- or long-term memory loss and some might stimulate sexual response. The effects of drug rape and of being 'spiked' can be extremely frightening.
Regardless of whether drugs, including alcohol, have been administered to someone without their knowledge or consent or whether they have willingly consumed alcohol or drugs, 100% of the responsibility for any act of sexual violence lies with its perpetrator. There is no excuse for sexual violence; it can never be justified, it can never be explained away and there is no context in which it is valid, understandable or acceptable.
If someone is incapacitated through the (willing or unknown) consumption of drugs or alcohol, they are unable to consent to sexual activity and sexual activity with them is therefore a crime.
Call into the One Stop shop
The One Stop Shop is not open without an appointment currently due to Covid 19 but we'll let you know as soon as we are open fully again - you can phone us 24/7 on our crisis helpline number